dusty van

by Soph Galustian

​

Poem performed at the Virtual Vigil

I explore the street, nervously. 

My key rest between my fingers, purposefully.

My knuckles turn white as I clench so tight. 

I consider ordering a taxi that I can’t afford 

To safely deliver me to my front door. 

But then I panic, what if the driver likes me? 

I just want to get home safely 

I hear footsteps behind me 

I clench my fist and grip the key 

Tighter 

Ready to apply self-defence. 

My legs started to shake; my shoulders were tense. 

A woman minding her business overtook me 

As she innocently walked her dog. 

She vanished into the night as she started to jog. 

I desperately wanted her to return. 

I wanted her to sense my concern 

Of being a woman

Alone in this night. 

It was snowing but strangely, sweat formed on my forehead 

Why did walking home alone fill me with such dread? 

Because men have made us feel unsafe in society. 

They’ve filled us with self-doubt and anxiety. 

As they shout out of their dusty vans about

where they’d like to put their hands. 

If you ignore them, you’re ungrateful. 

If you sleep with them, you’re shameful. 

We’re called a ‘bitch’ for being assertive 

And we’re called ‘cute’ for being nervous. 

And it’ll still somehow be our fault 

On the receiving end of this assault. 

For a man to confirm his masculinity 

We must highlight our societal given ‘stupidity’ 

Deprive ourselves of our strong femininity. 

We’re seen as heavenly if we still have our virginity. 

We’re only good for cooking and cleaning. 

We must only speak when spoken to, no intervening. 

I know I speak 

for women as a collective 

this week 

we’ve felt pain and anger for our sister 

my heart aches for those that’ll miss her 

Being a woman is mostly being misunderstood. 

We’re confused for weak, for no good,

Despite being able to grow life 

We must stay at home and be a good wife

We must not forget that we have a lower social stature than a man. 

We cannot achieve half of what he can. 

We’re weak in the body and in the mind 

Like he can see, and we are blind. 

We’ve got no backbone we’re too kind 

And if we’re strong, we’re unrefined. 

So, get back in your lane 

It’s no place for a woman. 

Life is a man’s game. 

We are not equal, and we are not the same. 

If we’re silent then we’re still the ones to blame. 

“Maybe your skirt was too short?” he said. 

“I mean...you could have said no?” 

“You could have fought?” 

“You must have led him on” 

“Once you came around, he’d already gone.” 

“That’s convenient. She’s probably lying”. 

“Attention seeking. Fake crying.” 

Even when we wear brightly coloured shoes 

And we don’t touch a sip of booze 

We’re alert and sensible 

But men still choose 

To murder us. 

But still #notallmen don’t make a fuss 

We know it’s safer to say nothing 

And conform to your gender role. 

To not be too ambitious and certainly don’t have goals 

Because these men hate progression. 

They want us to drown amidst our oppression 

It’s time for times to start changing. 

This world can be ours for the taking.

Don’t let them win

Don’t give in

We can’t rewrite history, but we can create herstory

Enough is enough of the patriarchy, let’s introduce diversity 

Universally

Daughter, auntie, niece, nanna and mother

we’re united as one. we are the other

we’ll fight together, one another 

No amount of violence

will have us silenced

we are force to be reckoned with

let’s show what we can give 

and it stands

She has the world, 

in the palm

of her

pretty

little

  hands. 

dusty van

by Soph Galustian

​

Poem performed at the Virtual Vigil

I explore the street, nervously. 

My key rest between my fingers, purposefully.

My knuckles turn white as I clench so tight. 

I consider ordering a taxi that I can’t afford 

To safely deliver me to my front door. 

But then I panic, what if the driver likes me? 

I just want to get home safely 

I hear footsteps behind me 

I clench my fist and grip the key 

Tighter 

Ready to apply self-defence. 

My legs started to shake; my shoulders were tense. 

A woman minding her business overtook me 

As she innocently walked her dog. 

She vanished into the night as she started to jog. 

I desperately wanted her to return. 

I wanted her to sense my concern 

Of being a woman

Alone in this night. 

It was snowing but strangely, sweat formed on my forehead 

Why did walking home alone fill me with such dread? 

Because men have made us feel unsafe in society. 

They’ve filled us with self-doubt and anxiety. 

As they shout out of their dusty vans about

where they’d like to put their hands. 

If you ignore them, you’re ungrateful. 

If you sleep with them, you’re shameful. 

We’re called a ‘bitch’ for being assertive 

And we’re called ‘cute’ for being nervous. 

And it’ll still somehow be our fault 

On the receiving end of this assault. 

For a man to confirm his masculinity 

We must highlight our societal given ‘stupidity’ 

Deprive ourselves of our strong femininity. 

We’re seen as heavenly if we still have our virginity. 

We’re only good for cooking and cleaning. 

We must only speak when spoken to, no intervening. 

I know I speak 

for women as a collective 

this week 

we’ve felt pain and anger for our sister 

my heart aches for those that’ll miss her 

Being a woman is mostly being misunderstood. 

We’re confused for weak, for no good,

Despite being able to grow life 

We must stay at home and be a good wife

We must not forget that we have a lower social stature than a man. 

We cannot achieve half of what he can. 

We’re weak in the body and in the mind 

Like he can see, and we are blind. 

We’ve got no backbone we’re too kind 

And if we’re strong, we’re unrefined. 

So, get back in your lane 

It’s no place for a woman. 

Life is a man’s game. 

We are not equal, and we are not the same. 

If we’re silent then we’re still the ones to blame. 

“Maybe your skirt was too short?” he said. 

“I mean...you could have said no?” 

“You could have fought?” 

“You must have led him on” 

“Once you came around, he’d already gone.” 

“That’s convenient. She’s probably lying”. 

“Attention seeking. Fake crying.” 

Even when we wear brightly coloured shoes 

And we don’t touch a sip of booze 

We’re alert and sensible 

But men still choose 

To murder us. 

But still #notallmen don’t make a fuss 

We know it’s safer to say nothing 

And conform to your gender role. 

To not be too ambitious and certainly don’t have goals 

Because these men hate progression. 

They want us to drown amidst our oppression 

It’s time for times to start changing. 

This world can be ours for the taking.

Don’t let them win

Don’t give in

We can’t rewrite history, but we can create herstory

Enough is enough of the patriarchy, let’s introduce diversity 

Universally

Daughter, auntie, niece, nanna and mother

we’re united as one. we are the other

we’ll fight together, one another 

No amount of violence

will have us silenced

we are force to be reckoned with

let’s show what we can give 

and it stands

She has the world, 

in the palm

of her

pretty

little

  hands. 

dusty van

by Soph Galustian

​

Poem performed at the Virtual Vigil

I explore the street, nervously. 

My key rest between my fingers, purposefully.

My knuckles turn white as I clench so tight. 

I consider ordering a taxi that I can’t afford 

To safely deliver me to my front door. 

But then I panic, what if the driver likes me? 

I just want to get home safely 

I hear footsteps behind me 

I clench my fist and grip the key 

Tighter 

Ready to apply self-defence. 

My legs started to shake; my shoulders were tense. 

A woman minding her business overtook me 

As she innocently walked her dog. 

She vanished into the night as she started to jog. 

I desperately wanted her to return. 

I wanted her to sense my concern 

Of being a woman

Alone in this night. 

It was snowing but strangely, sweat formed on my forehead 

Why did walking home alone fill me with such dread? 

Because men have made us feel unsafe in society. 

They’ve filled us with self-doubt and anxiety. 

As they shout out of their dusty vans about

where they’d like to put their hands. 

If you ignore them, you’re ungrateful. 

If you sleep with them, you’re shameful. 

We’re called a ‘bitch’ for being assertive 

And we’re called ‘cute’ for being nervous. 

And it’ll still somehow be our fault 

On the receiving end of this assault. 

For a man to confirm his masculinity 

We must highlight our societal given ‘stupidity’ 

Deprive ourselves of our strong femininity. 

We’re seen as heavenly if we still have our virginity. 

We’re only good for cooking and cleaning. 

We must only speak when spoken to, no intervening. 

I know I speak 

for women as a collective 

this week 

we’ve felt pain and anger for our sister 

my heart aches for those that’ll miss her 

Being a woman is mostly being misunderstood. 

We’re confused for weak, for no good,

Despite being able to grow life 

We must stay at home and be a good wife

We must not forget that we have a lower social stature than a man. 

We cannot achieve half of what he can. 

We’re weak in the body and in the mind 

Like he can see, and we are blind. 

We’ve got no backbone we’re too kind 

And if we’re strong, we’re unrefined. 

So, get back in your lane 

It’s no place for a woman. 

Life is a man’s game. 

We are not equal, and we are not the same. 

If we’re silent then we’re still the ones to blame. 

“Maybe your skirt was too short?” he said. 

“I mean...you could have said no?” 

“You could have fought?” 

“You must have led him on” 

“Once you came around, he’d already gone.” 

“That’s convenient. She’s probably lying”. 

“Attention seeking. Fake crying.” 

Even when we wear brightly coloured shoes 

And we don’t touch a sip of booze 

We’re alert and sensible 

But men still choose 

To murder us. 

But still #notallmen don’t make a fuss 

We know it’s safer to say nothing 

And conform to your gender role. 

To not be too ambitious and certainly don’t have goals 

Because these men hate progression. 

They want us to drown amidst our oppression 

It’s time for times to start changing. 

This world can be ours for the taking.

Don’t let them win

Don’t give in

We can’t rewrite history, but we can create herstory

Enough is enough of the patriarchy, let’s introduce diversity 

Universally

Daughter, auntie, niece, nanna and mother

we’re united as one. we are the other

we’ll fight together, one another 

No amount of violence

will have us silenced

we are force to be reckoned with

let’s show what we can give 

and it stands

She has the world, 

in the palm

of her

pretty

little

  hands. 

dusty van

by Soph Galustian

​

Poem performed at the Virtual Vigil

I explore the street, nervously. 

My key rest between my fingers, purposefully.

My knuckles turn white as I clench so tight. 

I consider ordering a taxi that I can’t afford 

To safely deliver me to my front door. 

But then I panic, what if the driver likes me? 

I just want to get home safely 

I hear footsteps behind me 

I clench my fist and grip the key 

Tighter 

Ready to apply self-defence. 

My legs started to shake; my shoulders were tense. 

A woman minding her business overtook me 

As she innocently walked her dog. 

She vanished into the night as she started to jog. 

I desperately wanted her to return. 

I wanted her to sense my concern 

Of being a woman

Alone in this night. 

It was snowing but strangely, sweat formed on my forehead 

Why did walking home alone fill me with such dread? 

Because men have made us feel unsafe in society. 

They’ve filled us with self-doubt and anxiety. 

As they shout out of their dusty vans about

where they’d like to put their hands. 

If you ignore them, you’re ungrateful. 

If you sleep with them, you’re shameful. 

We’re called a ‘bitch’ for being assertive 

And we’re called ‘cute’ for being nervous. 

And it’ll still somehow be our fault 

On the receiving end of this assault. 

For a man to confirm his masculinity 

We must highlight our societal given ‘stupidity’ 

Deprive ourselves of our strong femininity. 

We’re seen as heavenly if we still have our virginity. 

We’re only good for cooking and cleaning. 

We must only speak when spoken to, no intervening. 

I know I speak 

for women as a collective 

this week 

we’ve felt pain and anger for our sister 

my heart aches for those that’ll miss her 

Being a woman is mostly being misunderstood. 

We’re confused for weak, for no good,

Despite being able to grow life 

We must stay at home and be a good wife

We must not forget that we have a lower social stature than a man. 

We cannot achieve half of what he can. 

We’re weak in the body and in the mind 

Like he can see, and we are blind. 

We’ve got no backbone we’re too kind 

And if we’re strong, we’re unrefined. 

So, get back in your lane 

It’s no place for a woman. 

Life is a man’s game. 

We are not equal, and we are not the same. 

If we’re silent then we’re still the ones to blame. 

“Maybe your skirt was too short?” he said. 

“I mean...you could have said no?” 

“You could have fought?” 

“You must have led him on” 

“Once you came around, he’d already gone.” 

“That’s convenient. She’s probably lying”. 

“Attention seeking. Fake crying.” 

Even when we wear brightly coloured shoes 

And we don’t touch a sip of booze 

We’re alert and sensible 

But men still choose 

To murder us. 

But still #notallmen don’t make a fuss 

We know it’s safer to say nothing 

And conform to your gender role. 

To not be too ambitious and certainly don’t have goals 

Because these men hate progression. 

They want us to drown amidst our oppression 

It’s time for times to start changing. 

This world can be ours for the taking.

Don’t let them win

Don’t give in

We can’t rewrite history, but we can create herstory

Enough is enough of the patriarchy, let’s introduce diversity 

Universally

Daughter, auntie, niece, nanna and mother

we’re united as one. we are the other

we’ll fight together, one another 

No amount of violence

will have us silenced

we are force to be reckoned with

let’s show what we can give 

and it stands

She has the world, 

in the palm

of her

pretty

little

  hands. 

dusty van

by Soph Galustian

​

Poem performed at the Virtual Vigil

I explore the street, nervously. 

My key rest between my fingers, purposefully.

My knuckles turn white as I clench so tight. 

I consider ordering a taxi that I can’t afford 

To safely deliver me to my front door. 

But then I panic, what if the driver likes me? 

I just want to get home safely 

I hear footsteps behind me 

I clench my fist and grip the key 

Tighter 

Ready to apply self-defence. 

My legs started to shake; my shoulders were tense. 

A woman minding her business overtook me 

As she innocently walked her dog. 

She vanished into the night as she started to jog. 

I desperately wanted her to return. 

I wanted her to sense my concern 

Of being a woman

Alone in this night. 

It was snowing but strangely, sweat formed on my forehead 

Why did walking home alone fill me with such dread? 

Because men have made us feel unsafe in society. 

They’ve filled us with self-doubt and anxiety. 

As they shout out of their dusty vans about

where they’d like to put their hands. 

If you ignore them, you’re ungrateful. 

If you sleep with them, you’re shameful. 

We’re called a ‘bitch’ for being assertive 

And we’re called ‘cute’ for being nervous. 

And it’ll still somehow be our fault 

On the receiving end of this assault. 

For a man to confirm his masculinity 

We must highlight our societal given ‘stupidity’ 

Deprive ourselves of our strong femininity. 

We’re seen as heavenly if we still have our virginity. 

We’re only good for cooking and cleaning. 

We must only speak when spoken to, no intervening. 

I know I speak 

for women as a collective 

this week 

we’ve felt pain and anger for our sister 

my heart aches for those that’ll miss her 

Being a woman is mostly being misunderstood. 

We’re confused for weak, for no good,

Despite being able to grow life 

We must stay at home and be a good wife

We must not forget that we have a lower social stature than a man. 

We cannot achieve half of what he can. 

We’re weak in the body and in the mind 

Like he can see, and we are blind. 

We’ve got no backbone we’re too kind 

And if we’re strong, we’re unrefined. 

So, get back in your lane 

It’s no place for a woman. 

Life is a man’s game. 

We are not equal, and we are not the same. 

If we’re silent then we’re still the ones to blame. 

“Maybe your skirt was too short?” he said. 

“I mean...you could have said no?” 

“You could have fought?” 

“You must have led him on” 

“Once you came around, he’d already gone.” 

“That’s convenient. She’s probably lying”. 

“Attention seeking. Fake crying.” 

Even when we wear brightly coloured shoes 

And we don’t touch a sip of booze 

We’re alert and sensible 

But men still choose 

To murder us. 

But still #notallmen don’t make a fuss 

We know it’s safer to say nothing 

And conform to your gender role. 

To not be too ambitious and certainly don’t have goals 

Because these men hate progression. 

They want us to drown amidst our oppression 

It’s time for times to start changing. 

This world can be ours for the taking.

Don’t let them win

Don’t give in

We can’t rewrite history, but we can create herstory

Enough is enough of the patriarchy, let’s introduce diversity 

Universally

Daughter, auntie, niece, nanna and mother

we’re united as one. we are the other

we’ll fight together, one another 

No amount of violence

will have us silenced

we are force to be reckoned with

let’s show what we can give 

and it stands

She has the world, 

in the palm

of her

pretty

little

  hands.